SIMON: Hello and welcome to budget late-night indie show, Never mind the buzzcocks. I’m bitter, snotty-faced, little public schoolboy, Simon Amstell and I’d like to begin with an apology. On last week’s show I upset Preston from Preston and Chantelle. I realise now that they are better than me. Preston is a wonderful singer and Chantelle invented the popular saying “Oh my God!” I was unfair in my representation of Chantelle’s book. It’s not bad, there are some really interesting bits. (READING THE BOOK) “Suddenly…” Okay!
(via alisea)
“Snoop Dogg is writing a children’s book called ‘Where’s The Cheese’, true or false?” — Alex James
“Blue have a Scandinavian tribute band called Danish Blue, true or false?” — Alex James
“Oh my god, satsuma La Roux!” — Noel Fielding
“It’s making me slightly horny, your cheese. Is it supposed to do that?” — Noel Fielding
“Newton’s album is number 3 in the charts right now. As good as that is, I’ve drawn a face on an apple and a satsuma. I think we know who the real winner is.” — Noel Fielding
“He looks like a flesh-coloured sleeping bag filled with babybels.” — Noel Fielding about Iggy Pop
“According to Stringfellow, Kanye left his club without paying for any of his six lapdances. Stringfellow was particularly annoyed because he’d put his back out during the fourth one, but battled on to the end.” — Alex James